Simple Everyday Phrases That Trigger Anxiety.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me. — E.H Heywood.
“What if things could have happened differently?”
We’ve all had moments those moments. Maybe we did something we wish we hadn’t or things didn’t just turn out as we hoped.
When things get hard we might think, “Why does everything go wrong for me? “
These kinds of thoughts can pop up for anyone.
But thinking or saying such things fuels more stress and anxiety. It doesn’t help the situation or make you feel any better.
As Jodi Picoult said: “Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesn’t get you very far.”
Can we handle anxious thoughts during those low moments? Well, this article tackles just that.
Your Inner Chatter — Powerful Yet Often Ignored.
How we speak to ourselves shapes our perception and how we experience reality.
A great person said, “How we talk to ourselves determines our mood, performance and ultimately our success.”
Choosing negative words in our thoughts and self-talk further fuels our anxious state. It creates a loop where anxious thoughts lead to negative emotions.
For instance, in public speaking, the thought of mispronouncing a word and embarrassing yourself makes you feel tense and sweaty and your chest tightens.
Your body’s physical reaction to your thoughts indicates that you’re probably experiencing anxiety. Thinking such thoughts over an extended time leads to excessive worry and intensifies anxiety.
Most people experience anxiety to a certain degree and are aware of it.
Lots of people understand that to fix their worries and anxiety, they should also change the thoughts running through their minds.
Yet, many fail to realize that certain common words they use are most likely the culprits, significantly influencing how much anxiety they experience.
As was said, “Your inner dialogue plays a significant role in your level of anxiety. Choose words that soothe rather than agitate.”
How Words Shape Reality.
Most folks acknowledge that their words can negatively affect others, but forget that they talk to themselves inside their heads.
Our inner chatter and thoughts — they’re all in words.
The words we use when communicating with others and ourselves shape how we see the world. That’s why we are encouraged to use positive or neutral words.
Do you understand how the words you use shape your view of things? Here are 3 ways:
Words are our blueprint.
Words build the structure of our thoughts and help us make sense of the things around us.
They function as a medium helping us categorize, understand and communicate our experiences.
Think about it — how we describe something in our thoughts and internal chatter often changes how we see it.
Like calling something a “challenge” instead of a “problem” — that drastically alters our approach and mindset toward it.
Words are filters for our thoughts.
Words act like filters in our minds. They colour how we see things and what we believe. Using positive or negative words in our inner chatter affects our feelings.
Imagine saying “failure” versus “setback”. Failure feels more conclusive and discouraging; setback suggests a potential for learning and growth.
Notice the different feelings each word evokes.
Cultural and social influence.
Different cultures give different meanings to words, which moulds how we see the world.
For example, in some cultures, a word like failure can hold immense weight — often associated with shame and disappointment.
In other cultures, failure means a stepping stone to growth and learning. This perspective encourages individuals to take risks without feeling anxious.
An awareness of how words shape our reality can be a game-changer for managing stress.
As Maxwell Maltz said:
“The first step to change is awareness. Awareness brings understanding. Understanding brings acceptance”.
Common words that may be stoking your anxiety.
We toss words casually, not knowing how deeply they sneak into our minds, shaping our thoughts on how we see the world, others and ourselves.
Common everyday words might be what’s stirring your apprehension without you realizing it.
Let this sink in; what others say, we absorb, and it moulds our thoughts and feelings, potentially adding fuel to our anxiety fire.
And here’s the kicker: How we talk to ourselves mirrors how we talk to others.
I’ve been there before — I used to be my worst critic.
Here are some common words I used that ramped up my worry:
1. Nothing Ever.
When I’d face setbacks or things didn’t go as planned, I’d quietly tell myself,
“No matter how hard I try, nothing works out.”
We’ve been there, right? Those moments where we feel like “Nothing ever…” defines everything.
Using such words makes a bump feel like a never-ending road to failure. It’s like expecting the worst all the time. And to be frank, expecting the worst all the time can be exhausting.
Think about it — convincing ourselves everything’s bound to go wrong is like pushing ourselves into this cycle of stress and anxiety.
It affects how we regulate our emotions and reactions when things go haywire.
2. Why Can’t I?!
“Why can’t I get it right!?”
I’d often silently scream in my mind after attempting something for what felt like the hundredth time, and instantly, my shoulders tense, and my forehead furrowed.
Those words sparked a wave of negative feelings that rippled through me.
I bet you’ve had those moments too. Where everything falls apart, and frustration builds up until you feel like punching a wall or setting your laptop on fire.
But asking myself such questions — using those words — “Why can’t I get it right?” — made me feel like I was always failing, increasing my self-doubt and lowering my self-efficacy.
Feeling that way chips away at your confidence, making anxiety feel like a never-ending battle.
3. I Should.
Do you ever catch yourself thinking “ I should (fill in the blank.)”?
Well, I have.
I’d always tell myself “I should complete this chapter today.”
But I never did, and it just made everything harder.
“I should” turned every task into a source of stress, making me feel worried when I saw the day was ending and I couldn’t meet those self-imposed standards.
It was a cycle of constant pressure where I felt I couldn’t catch up.
The Tactic I used to manage anxiety.
After learning about cognitive reframing, I swapped out the above words with the following:
1. Sometimes
When life got rough, I realized ditching “nothing ever” for words like “sometimes” made a huge difference.
For instance, on a terrible day, I’d tell myself, “Well, sometimes things don’t go according to plan, and that’s ok.”
Shifting to that helped me see rough moments don’t stick around forever.
Suddenly, those endless strings of bad luck became temporary bumps.
Feeling less like everything was always not working out eased so much of my anxiety.
Lesson learnt: Our words have this sneaky power to shape how we see things. Swapping out words like “nothing ever “ with “ sometimes or “occasionally” in our thoughts and inner chatter can be like getting a new pair of glasses that let you see the ups and downs of life as normal and temporary.
2. What Can I?
Ever noticed how asking the wrong questions can lead down a rabbit hole?
In my mind, I’d constantly ask, “ Why can’t I? “ or “Why do I?”. I thought that would provide the answer.
But it only left me feeling stuck and like I had no control over things.
I flipped the script.
Nowadays, I ask, “How can I?” and “What can I?”.
These questions steer my mind away from limitations and push me to seek solutions.
Lesson learnt: The questions we ask ourselves matter more than we think. Swapping out those disempowering questions for empowering ones can help manage anxious thoughts.
3. I Can do
Feel guilty for not meeting your expectations? It’s probably the pressure of what you “should do” weighing you down.
That was my story.
Each time I set that strict deadline of “ I should finish everything today”, it put a weight on my shoulders.
As I shifted my thinking to, “ I can do my best to get through today.”, it was a breath of fresh air. My focus increased and I felt liberated from pressure and stress.
Lesson learned: Shifting to “I can” helped me be kinder to myself and set realistic goals. Incredibly, that simple change transformed my perspective and made life calmer.
Final Thoughts.
Anxiety is a normal emotion. But it become too overwhelming, especially in today’s fast-paced world. We can manage it by being conscious of our word choice, especially in self-talk.
Keeping an eye out for our self-talk is crucial to reducing anxiety. The words we use have power over how we see the world and the emotions we experience.
When we swap out anxious words for more positive or neutral ones, we hand ourselves a mindset upgrade.
It’s not only about feeling better — it’s about consciously trading those anxious words in your internal script for a brighter, calmer existence.
Your words should be your superpower, enabling you to live a colourful life. Use them wisely and watch your world transform for the better.
